Monday, October 24, 2011

One Month, Weight and Life Update

A month ago, I moved to Boston!  Time is such a strange thing, because sometimes it seems like I've been here forever and other times it seems like I just got here.

Things are going really well.  I LOVE it here.  Living in the city is a huge change, but a very welcome one.  I don't miss my car at all and the only thing I miss about Portsmouth is my dog.

I just got back from spending the weekend with her and we had a lovely time together.  She's doing great and is totally doted on by her dad (my x-husband).

I've been learning more and more about myself with this move.  I realize that life is too damn short to be stuck doing what I don't love doing!  I have made it my personal mission to create a life that is fulfilling on many levels.  I do have to figure out a way to push myself out of my comfort zone a bit in order to accomplish this though.

I have lost 11 pounds in the past month without really trying. I am obviously walking places because I don't have a car, but mainly, I have been keeping trigger foods out of my home.. and it helps to have a roommate who is aware of my propensity to overeat. Just speaking about it takes away the power, which is really cool.

I have notices how much I feel protected by my weight though.  On several occasions, I have found myself in some not so great areas of town around groups of men and the thought went through my head, "I'm so glad I've overweight right now."  No cat calls, no rude and invasive behaviors....  I felt safe.

I do have a history of sexual abuse and rape which is all tied into the weight gain.  I have not really used this blog as a place for personal purging, but I can't be authentic if I don't share that this is a HUGE (no put intended) part of my weight history.  I know I am not alone either and I REFUSE to carry the shame and fear inside of me for ONE MORE DAY.

I was thinking of how I would feel safe as I lose the weight and I think that I am going to look into some self defense classes...  that would be quite empowering!  I admit, that my dog makes me feel VERY SAFE... she is a Pit Bull and walking down the street with her is like having a huge protection... for every creepy guy who asked, "Does your dog bite?" I answer, "When she needs to."  ... but frankly, she would only ever bite a human if they were trying to hurt one of her people.  She's much more likely to lick you to death and bang in to you with her butt wiggles and tail because she's sooo excited to meet people!

So that's my one month update.  I plan on updating my weight loss progress on the 24th of each month ..